In your heart
by L'alto
Summary: They've been his guardians and his friends his whole life.


_**In your heart**_

When Teddy is 3 months old and is starting to be able to recognise people, he starts squealing whenever he sees someone he knows, reaches out to the person standing over his cot, and changes his hair to match the colour of the person's hair.

Usually, the person would smile and coo at him, before swinging him up into their arms, and Teddy would burble back in delight.

Which is why he's very confused and slightly upset when the two men in front of him just continue to look at him sadly. He's seen these men before: they're almost always here, though they always stay quite a distance away. This is the first time they've come so close to him, and he's confused why these men would decide to come to him at last only to ignore him. Teddy babbles again, and swats at the hand reaching into the cot to demand to be picked up. He's confused again when, instead of touching flesh, his hand passes right through the large, calloused hand in front of him, and squeals happily before doing it a few more times. Maybe this is some new game these people have come up with for him!

He yells angrily when the hand is retracted, and turns his hair and eyes brown to suit the colour of the man standing over his cot. The man's face looks...upset, Teddy realises, and he turns to the dark-haired man beside him.

"Sirius, do you...do you think he can see us?" The man whispers, and the dark-haired man answers, with an equally shocked look on his face, " I think so, Moony."

Teddy squeals in annoyance when the two men continue talking, and when the brown-haired man reaches into his cot again Teddy swats at his hand repeatedly and babbles happily.

The door of the room opens and another man, the man Teddy has seen the most frequently besides these two men standing over him, enters the room. He looks at the two men and at Teddy, and Teddy squeals again in joy before turning his hair black and his eyes green.

The man takes one look at Teddy and the two men standing over his cot and his eyes widen. "Oh Merlin. He can see you too?"

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is five he realises that it is probably not normal to have aunts and uncles he can see but not touch.

He also realises that other than him and Uncle Harry, no one else can see Uncle Prongs, Aunt Lily, Uncle Padfoot and Papa Moony. He's tried telling Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron about them once: they just gave him a strange look and a big hug. They looked like they were about to cry, and Teddy doesn't want that, so he never brings this up again.

He asks Uncle Harry about it one day over breakfast, when they all sit around the table and only him and Uncle Harry eat (he's noticed that and tried not to eat as well once, only to get scolded by Uncle Harry), and they all look at him sadly, and Teddy feels guilty for making them sad.

Uncle Harry looks over at Papa Moony for help, but Papa Moony just shakes his head and says, "I think you should be the one to tell him, Harry."

Uncle Harry takes a deep breath and looks over at Teddy. "I'm sorry, pup. The reason why no one else can see your Uncle Prongs, Aunt Lily, Uncle Padfoot and Papa Moony is because...is because...they're dead, Teddy. They're dead."

Teddy is confused. Dead? Like Uncle George's brother Uncle Fred?

"But Uncle Harry, "dead" means we can't see them anymore right? I can see them! So can you!" Teddy exclaims loudly.

Uncle Harry sighs. "Yes, but years ago I made a...a mistake-"

"It wasn't a mistake, Harry." Aunt Lily says softly.

"Yes it was, I shouldn't have summoned you using the Resurrection Stone, not even once. But I was a coward, and couldn't face Vol-him without all of you by my side and now you're paying the price-" Uncle Harry says, growing more upset by the moment, but Uncle Prongs cuts in.

"Harry. It wasn't a mistake. You couldn't have known. You just wanted some company before you went to face him, wanted to see familiar faces one last time before you went to die-"

"Uncle Harry! You're dead too? Am I dead?" Teddy asks in surprise, before poking his own arm and Uncle Harry's to make sure.

"What? No! No, of course not. We're both alive! We went through great pains to make sure you stayed alive, little pup." Uncle Harry smiles and wraps Teddy up in a hug.

"We'll explain it all to you when you're older, okay?" Papa Moony says softly, and Teddy nods. He can see they're all sad now, and he doesn't want them to be sad, so he scrunches up his eyes and turns his hair red, brown and black to cheer them up.

They all laugh at this, and Teddy smiles up at the happy faces of the aunt and uncles who love him.

It never occurs to him to be bothered at all that the uncles and aunt who love him so much are all dead.

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is seven, he realises that he's never seen his mother. Though he's happy to have four great uncles and an aunt to take care of him, while other people like Rose and Victoire only have two people to take care of them, he still wants to see his mother at least once, and it bothers him that while his Papa Moony and even some of his uncles and his Aunt Lily cared about him enough to come back his mother hadn't.

He asks Uncle Padfoot about it (he knows asking Papa Moony would make him sad and he doesn't want that), and Uncle Padfoot kneels so he can look Teddy in the eyes.

"Pup, don't think for one second that your mother never loved you. Your mother was a wonderful woman, and died to protect you, just like your Papa Moony did." Uncle Padfoot says gently.

"Then why has she never come to visit me before?" Teddy asks, rubbing tears away from his eye.

"Oh, Teddy. She can't come, just like we can't leave." Uncle Padfoot says, looking at him sadly.

When Teddy looks at him in confusion, Uncle Padfoot continues.

"Remember when Uncle Harry told you about the 'mistake' he made some years ago? When he explained to you that we were dead?"

When Teddy nods, Uncle Padfoot continues. "Well, that night, your Uncle Harry had to face a...a bad man, and when he was going to face him he needed some courage. So he summoned us, the people he knew loved him, so that he would see familiar faces before he went to meet his fate. He didn't know that summoning us just once, even once, would cause us to be trapped here, at least until the day he dies, nothing more than spirits who can only be seen by him and apparently you."

Teddy nods in understanding. "So on the day Uncle Harry dies, all of you will die too? For real?"

Uncle Padfoot nods. "For real, and forever."

Teddy is sobered by the scary thought of losing all five of his uncles and aunt together at the same time, but speaks again at a sudden thought.

"But why didn't Uncle Harry summon my mother too?" Teddy asks curiously.

Uncle Padfoot looks at Teddy a while before answering. "Your Uncle Harry summoned Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily for obvious reasons: they are his parents, and he wanted to see them and me, his godfather, one last time before he died. Papa Moony, he was as much a father to Uncle Harry as Uncle James or I, and that's why he was summoned too. Your mother was more of a friend than a family member, and that's why Uncle Harry didn't summon her. I'm sorry pup, but Uncle Harry didn't summon us thinking that we would continue to stay here. If he did, I'm sure he would have summoned your mother too."

Teddy blinks a bit before nodding. He misses his mother, but he has loving guardians too.

And as long as he is loved and they are all happy, nothing else matters.

Besides, something as small as death seems to be easily overcome. He is sure he will meet his mother some day.

 **OoOoO**

Teddy is nine when he realises he has never given any of his spirit guardians a hug.

The thought makes him rather sad, and he sits quietly on the porch one evening thinking about it.

This is how Papa Moony finds him, and he wriggles over to make space for Papa Moony even though he knows Papa Moony doesn't actually need it.

"Hey little pup. You okay?"

Teddy wanted to keep this thought to himself at first, to prevent Papa Moony from being sad, but Papa Moony's soft voice, so filled with love and concern, causes him to blurt out his troubles.

"I've never hugged any of you, Papa Moony."

Papa Moony's eyes turn sad, just like Teddy expected, and he sighs. "I'm sorry, Pup."

Aunt Lily's voice comes from behind them. "Well, then it's high time you gave your father a hug, right Teddy?"

Teddy and Papa Moony turn around in confusion. "But I can't touch any of you! How am I supposed to hug you if I can't touch you?" Teddy's embarrassed to hear his voice tremble slightly, and he wipes away the tears that are in his eyes.

"Why not? Just put your arms around your Papa and imagine you can feel him hugging you. You'll feel it in your heart." Aunt Lily says softly.

Teddy grins broadly at the suggestion, and moves to stand right in front of Papa Moony. He holds his arms awkwardly around Papa Moony, wincing when one hand passes into his Papa's stomach for a short moment, and then he sees Papa Moony's hands moving to hold him as well.

Teddy buries his face into his Papa's shirt and tries to imagine the rough feel of the material on his fingers. He imagines the warmth and solidity of his Papa's body comforting him, the way his Papa's hands around him squeeze him tightly, imagines the smell of old books and cinnamon he smells when he goes into Papa Moony's old room coming from Papa Moony himself.

"Can you feel it, Teddy?" Papa Moony's voice is shaky.

"Yes, Papa Moony. I feel it. Not in my arms, but in my heart." Teddy hears his own voice trembling as well, as he stands there on the porch, feeling his Papa's hugs for the first time in his life.

When he finally pulls away, he sees tears in both Papa Moony and Aunt Lily's eyes, and feels tears of joy falling from his own eyes as well.

 **OoOoO**

Teddy is eleven when he meets his mother for the first time.

During his first Halloween at Hogwarts, he is surprised to find new people walking around the school. They're people he's never seen before, and he quickly concluded they are Dead just like his uncles and aunt back home.

He tries talking to the first Dead person he sees at the first opportunity he gets, when he's alone during break on the Hogwarts ground, but the man, a man roughly around his uncles' age with a crooked nose and greasy hair, merely stares at him as if he were the ghost for a while before sneering half-heartedly (Teddy can see that he's sneering because he's shocked) and walking away.

Dejected, Teddy waits until the next two Dead people show up: a man who looks just like a younger version of Uncle George (except he has his ear) and a woman with bubblegum pink hair.

Teddy quickly concludes that the man must be Uncle Fred and calls out to him and the woman. They stop in surprise and stare at him for a moment, until Teddy calls Uncle Fred's name again and they walk over to him.

"You can see us?" Uncle Fred whispers, and Teddy nods.

"Yeah, just like I'm able to see that grumpy man who walked past just now and my uncles and aunt back home. You're dead, you see, but I think on this day you become only Dead and not really dead because it's Halloween, just like my Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily and Uncle Padfoot and Papa Moony back at home, except they are always Dead and not really dead because my Uncle Harry summoned them once and now they are stuck here. I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling. I know you're Uncle Fred, but what is your name, Miss?" Teddy comes to a stop abruptly.

The woman's face has lost all its colour, becoming deathly pale.

"Papa Moony, you said? Papa Moony as in Remus Lupin?" The woman breathes.

"Yep! Papa Moony's real name is Remus Lupin, although none of my uncles and aunt call him that. And Uncle Padfoot's name is Sirius Black and Uncle Prongs is James Potter and Aunt Lily is just Lily Potter-Miss? Are you alright?" Teddy frowns in concern when the woman pales even further and sits down heavily on the grass.

"Teddy Lupin, it's nice to meet you at last. My names is Nymphadora Tonks, and I'm your mum." The woman says.

Teddy freezes and stares at his Mom for a while. "Mom? Papa Moony and Uncle Padfoot have told me about you! I'd...I'd actually expected to see you sooner or later, seeing as I already see my Dead uncles and aunt every day, but I...I...Its good to see you, Mom." Teddy puts his arms around his Mom, tears brimming in his eyes. When she doesn't move, Teddy realise that she doesn't know about the Special Hug.

"Mom, you have to put your arms around me too and feel the hug! Not in your arms, but in your heart." Teddy says, and as his Mom does just that Teddy hugs his mother for the first time.

He turns to give Uncle Fred a hug then, and Uncle Fred asks in a trembling voice, "Is George okay?"

Teddy smiles up at Uncle Fred. "Uncle George is fine! He's running Weasley's Wizard Wheezes together with Uncle Ron now, and though they don't talk about you a lot it's because they miss you a lot and are sad when they talk about you. They miss you, but they're quite happy now. They say you're a war hero, just like my mum and papa and uncles and aunt, and that you died to protect all of us."

Uncle Fred smiles sadly. "Take care of George for me, will you?"

His Mom chimes in. "And take care of Remus and Sirius for me."

Teddy nods seriously. "I will, don't worry! You won't be here tomorrow, will you? Alright then, see you next Halloween!"

No one says anything when Teddy starts fussing over Uncle George whenever they visit the Weasleys after that Halloween, but Papa Moony does turn rather pale when he teases Teddy about being a mother hen towards the people who are supposed to be taking care of him and Teddy answers that he's simply sticking to the promise he made to Uncle Fred and Mom.

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is thirteen he learns about the war that killed his aunt and uncles and parents.

Professor Binns drones on and on in his boring voice about the first and second Wizarding Wars, and Teddy has tuned him out as soon as Binns first mentioned Uncle Harry in favour of flipping through his textbook.

He reads about the war with interest, and learns about how his Uncle Harry defeated the most evil wizard of all time, Lord Voldemort, when he was just seventeen. He reads about his aunts and uncles' contributions and roles in the war (all of them, not just the Dead ones, and especially Uncle Ron and Aunt Hermione), and gasps at the horrors they had to go through.

He's always known that the people he loved are war heroes, of course. He's known it since as long as he can remember, and of course he's seen the faces of his aunts and uncles on Chocolate Frog cards (mostly the living ones but sometimes also the Dead ones in the Second Wizarding War special edition), but there's a difference between knowing roughly what had happened and knowing in detail what had they had to go through, what they were willing to die for and what some of them had died for.

Teddy reads about the dangers Uncles Harry and Ron and Aunt Hermione went through, reads about how Uncle Padfoot was framed and put in Azkaban for 12 years before rejoining the Order, reads about the discrimination Papa Moony faced for being a werewolf before dying bravely with his Mom in the final battle (at least the werewolf problem had gone away now that Papa Moony is Dead).

He's almost in tears by the time he reaches the part at the end of the chapter about how Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily sacrificed themselves to save their one-year old son, Harry Potter, the boy-who-lived, and he freezes in confusion.

He's always known that Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily are Uncle Harry's parents, but it has only just occurred to him that they are Uncle Harry's parents, which means that by right they should be years older than him. Yet they look about the same age.

That's when Teddy realises that his Dead uncles and aunt are never going to get older, and that one day he'll grow older than them. That even when he's forty years old and married with children, Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily will stay forever twenty, and Uncle Padfoot and Papa Moony will stay forever thirty.

The thought is terrifying.

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is fifteen his parents meet each other for the first time in fifteen years.

After a long time spent trying to figure out the best way for the Dead back at Grimmauld place to visit the Dead in Hogwarts during Halloween (broomsticks and Apparation didn't work considering the Dead cannot touch most objects and don't have wands anymore), Uncle Harry finally figured out that the best way for the Dead to reach Hogwarts is by Floo, and so Halloween finds Teddy standing by Professor McGonagall's Floo waiting for his guardians to come out.

The fire flares green and stays that way while his guardians come out one by one, with Uncle Harry at the very back. From Professor McGonagall's point of view, he knows that it will seem like the fire burns for an unusually long time before Uncle Harry steps out, like Uncle Harry is taking his time to come into the Headmistress' office. Sure enough, when Uncle Prongs steps right up to Professor McGonagall and pulls a face, before waving his hands in an exaggerated manner and poking Professor McGonagall's nose, she doesn't even blink, and Teddy has to disguise his laugh as a cough.

Teddy and his guardians make their way to the large tree in the Hogwarts grounds, where Teddy has met with Fred (he's stopped calling Fred his uncle seeing as he's now only five years younger than him) and Mom every year since he first met them in First Year. Sure enough, he sees them approaching soon after, and the looks on their faces makes Teddy smile.

"Remus. Sirius." Mom whispers, and Papa Moony smiles.

"Hello Tonks." Papa Moony sweeps Mom into a hug, and Teddy feels tears in his eyes at the sight of his parents reuniting after fifteen years apart.

Mom then proceeds to hug Uncle Padfoot, before turning to face Uncle Prongs and Aunt Lily.

"You're Harry's parents, right?"

When they nod, Fred grins. "Nice to meet you at last, Mr and Mrs Potter."

Teddy sits and watches as his guardians talk to Fred and Mom, and he can't help the smile that breaks out on his face. It's great to see his guardians finally reunite with his mother and his friend.

Even Professor Snape (Teddy's learnt that the man he called "that grumpy man" back in first year is actually also a war hero) is invited to sit and talk, though Teddy has heard from many people that he used to hate Papa Moony and his friends, and when Professor Snape hugs Aunt Lily, tears falling from his usually stoic eyes, Teddy sees Uncle Harry wipe at his own eyes too.

To any Professors or students who happen to walk past that day, it just seems like Teddy is spending a day out on the Hogwarts grounds with his godfather, two people sitting under the shade of the large tree in the October sun while most of the school are out at Hogsmeade; to Teddy, however, seeing everyone so happy makes this day probably one of the the best days of his life.

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is 19, he stops calling his guardians his uncles and aunts.

It is, after all, a bit weird to call someone your uncle when they are nearly the same age as you, and with Prongs and Lily now only three years older than him they've all decided that Teddy should just call his guardians by their names.

Harry still calls his parents Mum and Dad though, even now that he's way older than them, so Teddy's going to continue calling his parents Papa Moony and Mom.

They've decided that it would be good if Teddy continues to visit his mother, even now that he's graduated and his parents aren't together anymore (they've both decided that with Mom only Dead once a year it's better for Papa to move on and find "someone else", if by someone else they mean Padfoot), and Teddy's convinced Professor McGonagall to let him go back to Hogwarts every Halloween. He doesn't tell her why, of course. Harry and him both agreed a long time ago not to tell anyone that they can see spirits, because they would both get carted off to St Mungo's straight away if they do.

Instead, on the day he graduated, he told McGonagall that he would like to continue to visit Hogwarts every year to honour the memory of his parents who died there fighting in the war, and of course McGonagall agreed to his request.

Which is why he's quickly shucking his Trainee Auror robes in favour of more comfortable pair of jeans and a t-shirt (he's decided to become an Auror just like Harry and Prongs), and rushing to the his fireplace while devouring the sandwich that's supposed to be his lunch.

He's late for this year's meeting, because Auror Robards' decided that there should be work this weekend, and while Harry can apply for leave because he's a senior Auror Teddy cannot because he's just a trainee.

Cursing his luck, he runs out of McGonagall's office with a rushed "Hello Professor!" and goes to join his family out on the sunlit grounds of Hogwarts.

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is 25, he has his first child.

Little Dora is a Metamorphagus, just like her father and grandmother, and just like her father when he was a kid, her hair and eyes change to match the colour of the person she wants to hold her.

So when Dora's hair turns red and her eyes green one day, and she stretches out her hand towards Lily, everyone in the room freezes.

"She sees them too?" Victoire whispers.

"I guess so." Teddy answers in surprise.

Before they got married a few years back, Teddy and Harry had told her about the spirits living in their home, and though Victoire herself doesn't see the spirits she always makes sure to wave every time she enters the house, and talks to them through Teddy and Harry.

It's rather amusing to see Victoire waving at empty space sometimes, though it becomes less amusing when they realise that they would have to find a way to explain to their child why her father and Harry always talk to what seems like nothing.

Now, however, it would appear that they don't need to.

Lily reaches her hand into the cot, and Dora swipes at it, shrieking in delight at the sight of her hand passing straight through Lily's.

Papa Moony moves to stand over the cot, and immediately Dora's hair and eyes turn brown.

"Hey Dora. I'm your grandfather." He says softly, and Dora chuckles at the sound of his voice.

A wave of sadness suddenly hits Teddy at the sight of his father, not much older than him, speaking to his granddaughter. In another life, Papa Moony would be sweeping little Dora up into his arms, his brown hair streaked with white and wrinkles on his face from the years spent laughing together with his family. In another life, Lily and Prongs would have aged, having lived many happy years of their lives after the war, and Padfoot would be able to carry Dora and give her a proper hug, instead of simply standing over her cot and holding out his hand for her to play with.

Dora's laughter breaks his line of thought, and he smiles as he sees Padfoot running around in his dog form, barking happily, while Prongs's ghostly head passes through the bars and he waves his antlers in front of Dora. Papa Moony, Harry and Lily are laughing too, but Victoire notices his sudden melancholy and gives him a hug.

Teddy hugs back and smiles at his family.

Though his family is dead, though the people he loves will never age and get to live a proper life, they're together, and that's the most important thing of all.

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is 50, Harry passes away.

They've all lived rather happy lives (and deaths) these past few decades. Papa Moony, Padfoot, Lily and Prongs have been there to see Dora grow up, to send her off to Hogwarts, to watch as Dora gets a job in St. Mungo's, to witness Harry retire from the Aurors, and to see Teddy and Victoire grow old together.

Now, however, Harry lies in the hospital bed, frail from old age, and they all crowd around his deathbed. The doctors at St Mungo's have no cure for Harry; it's old age that Harry is dying from, not any curse, and there's no spell or potion that can stop death.

Papa Moony, Padfoot, Lily and Prongs stand to Harry's left, not a day older than the day Teddy first saw them. It must be weird to see your seventy-year old son dying while you're still in your twenties, Teddy thinks.

He gasps as he suddenly realises what Harry's death will mean. Harry's death will take all of them away from him. When Harry goes, he will lose all five of the people who were as good as his parents while he was a kid, and who have become his friends now that he's grown older.

When Harry goes, five people he's known his entire life will leave him.

Papa Moony seems to notice his sadness, and comes over to give him a hug. He wraps his arms around his Papa, feeling like the little kid who gave his Papa his first hug ever once again.

"I'll miss you, Papa." Teddy says, voice trembling with the unshed tears.

"We're not leaving, pup. We'll never truly leave you." Padfoot says softly.

"Yes. We might not be around anymore, but that doesn't mean we've left. You might not be able to see us anymore, but if you close your eyes, you'll be able to feel our presence." Papa Moony says.

"In my heart." Teddy whispers.

"See you soon, Teddy." Harry whispers from the bed, and Teddy reaches out to take one of his godfather's hands.

As Harry's breathing stops and his eyes close for the last time, the four figures around the bed fade away, and Teddy is left with one arm wrapped around thin air and the other still clasping his godfather's hand, the tears he'd been trying to hold back now streaming down his cheeks.

 **OoOoO**

When Teddy is 70, he sees them again.

One moment he's lying in St Mungo's, Dora and Victoire's weeping faces in front of him, and the next he opens his eyes to find himself 25 again, two men standing in front of him, rather like his first memory of seeing them. They don't look a day older than the day they left the world of the living for the last time, and Teddy smiles, turning his hair and eyes brown to match the colour of Papa Moony's.

As he stands up, he sees Lily, Prongs and Harry standing just behind them.

"Hi guys." He says, and they each step forward to give him a hug.

For the first time ever, Teddy gives his family a real hug, and feels it in his arms as well as his heart.


End file.
